Sunday 27 March 2016

Mario is in...Less Games Than I Imagined Actually - Crossover Quest

So, I was looking at some of the previous stuff I'd done to find crossovers, and found that Mario, for being known for doing everything, isn't actually in as many crossovers as I expected. I'm not sure if this is because I'm discounting a lot of crossovers with the Legend of Zelda for already being included, but there aren't that many. There are some though, so let's dive in.

Mario, along with his brother Luigi and Peach (who isn't his brother That would make certain scenes awkward) is in SSX On Tour, picking up a hobby of skiing and snowboarding. I guess he's quite good at it, but I was never really good enough to know.

He's also shooting some hoops with them on NBA Street V3. You'd think with all the exercise he does, he wouldn't be so portly. Maybe it's just all the cake that Peach gives him.

Finally, on the side of Mario sticking himself into other people's games, there's Fortune Street, a Monopoly-esque game that started out as a Dragon's Quest minigame, but eventually became its own thing. Incidentally, the series also features Final Fantasy characters, but not in the same game as the Mario characters.

However, Mario doesn't just sneak into other games. There are characters from other franchises in his own games. Final Fantasy shows up again, this time in Mario Hoops 3 on 3, where a Moogle, Ninja, Black Mage, White Mage and Cactuar turn up to shoot some hoops (wow, I didn't know Mario liked Basketball that much).

And of course, there's the arcade versions of Mario Kart, where he invites quite a few characters from other series to join him on the racetrack. As well as the previously mentioned Pacman, there's also Don-chan, who's from the Taiko no Tatsujin series, a series of rhythm games that only has one game translated into English, which is on the Playstation 2.

Interestingly enough, in the second arcade version of Mario Kart, there's also a Tamagotchi, Mametchi, who you can play as.

You thought I was kidding, didn't you?
So, that's where Mario's gotten around.

Since this was a little short, I'm going to mention something about the Super Smash Bros game I discovered whilst researching this.

Pacman's up taunt is known as Namco Roulette, and it summons one of quite a few characters including at least one character from Dragon Buster, Taiko no Tatsujin, Bosconian, Galaga, Galaxian, The Tower of Druaga, Rally-X, Baraduke, Dig Dug, Sky Kid, Gaplus, Xevious, Libble Rabble, King & Balloon, Valkyrie no Denesetsu and Metro-Cross.

So that's 16 games included in just a single taunt, in a game that in its first installment had 12 characters total. Nowadays, a mere taunt has more characters than an entire game used to have.

That's just... wow.

Sunday 20 March 2016

Crossover Quest: Part One: Smash Bros has All the Franchises

Sorry that this is a day late. I would give an excuse, but frankly, I simply forgot. So to make it up for you (and since I ran out of ideas for theories), I'm going to start something new called Crossover Quest.

The basic idea is that if two franchises have a character in the same game, movie or book, they subsequently have at least one universe that contains both games. So we're going to see how crazy the connections can get.

First: a few rules:

  1. It must be a character. Costumes can be remade, as can pictures and buildings. Characters are more likely to be the same person.
  2. Yes, crossover games count. You may disagree with this, since that's their point, but I like them. Deal with it.
  3. There is no rule three.
  4. Profit?
  5. Any media counts, except fanart and fanfiction, since that would make it too easy (seriously everything is connected in fanfiction).
  6. There might be more rules as I think of them.
  7. Franchises will be considered based on if they treat themselves as the same. Pixar and Disney are going to be separate since they treat every movie as an independent one, whilst the Marios will be put together, since they're crossed over often enough it's not worth putting Donkey Kong and the others as their own games.
Some characters (especially Mario) may be featured a lot. Some less so. Either way, it's going to be a fun ride!

So, let's start with the adorable fighting game that might not be a fighting game Smash Bros!

Over the 4 games, there have been characters from a tonne of franchises. Whilst some have multiple characters, we'll just name the most notable (or one I see first) from each franchise to count the entire franchise (sorry Meta Knight).
  • Mario (...Mario. Yeah, that was obvious.)
  • Link (Legend of Zelda)
  • Bayonetta (...Baynonetta)
  • Captain Falcon (F-Zero)
  • Pikachu (Pokemon)
  • Cloud (Final Fantasy)
  • Corrin (Fire Emblem)
  • Duck Hunt (... You've probably guessed)
  • Fox (Star Fox. Congratulations Nintendo, you're really creative.)
  • Nana and Popo (Ice Climbers)
  • Kirby (Yeah...)
  • Little Mac (Punch-Out!)
  • Lucas (EarthBound)
  • Mega Man (Do you really need me to tell you?)
  • Mr Game and Watch (...)
  • Olimar (Pikmin)
  • Pacman (Was there a rule at the start of videogames that you had to name your game after the main character?)
  • Pit (Kid Icarus - His name isn't Icarus!)
  • R.O.B. (Wouldn't actually be a character if it wasn't for this game! Was literally made so that stores would sell NES', because he's the toy that loves you and isn't going to steal your soul.)
  • Ryu (Street Fighter)
  • Samus (Metroid)
  • Sonic (Okay, I get it, you were trying to copy Mario. You didn't have to copy their lazy naming scheme as well!)
  • Snake (Metal Gear)
  • Villager (Animal Crossing, and your nightmares)
  • Wii Fit Trainer (Wii Fit. I bet you played that once and then forgot about it)
  • Miis (Those games you played when you got the wii and promptly forgot about)
So, wow. We've got 26 franchises within one game. Yay! Just some oddities:

The Miis. They're not going to count for anything but their own games, since they're meant to be representations of yourself rather than actual characters.

Pikachu and Pokemon. This will be the games only, not the anime or any mangas, simply due to how different they are. You could argue that Pokemon Yellow puts the anime and games in the same universe, but due to some (major) differences, I'm going to say they're separate.

R.O.B. He's mainly included just out of completion, but we'll say that Stack Up and Gyromite have been included in the universe because of this, simply because, well, you're not really going to get them anywhere else.

Next time on Crossover Quest: Mario really gets around!

Saturday 12 March 2016

How Long Would the Choosing Ceremony Take? - Divergent

Allegiant is being released next week in the UK, so in honour of the thinking girl's Twilight, that's broken the mold of every teen series since Harry Potter by not stretching its final book out into two movies, lets just see how long it would take each year for the Choosing Ceremony.

So, what is the Choosing Ceremony? Basically each 16 year old takes it in turns to walk up, cut their hand and let the blood drip into one of the five bowls on a table. I guess no-one's afraid of blood in this universe.

Honestly, I'd just prefer the sorting hat. This just seems needlessly
insane. I mean, I like the series and all, but still, needless stage fright.
In the books, it's said to take all day, because it's morning when they arrive and the sun is setting when they leave. Could this be possible?

Well, first you'd have to consider how long it'd take for one person to do it. In the movie, they never show how long it takes to get down the steps (because unless they have some mystical teleportation skill never shown, they can't go from near the middle to right at the front in the space of time of one meaningful glance), so lets assume it takes about 40 seconds, considering that some are sitting at the top, which would take longer, and some would spend the time having surprised looks like they haven't had a bunch of people before them do the exact same thing (Tris...).

After that is the actual sorting. This is actually shown in full, by multiple people in the movie. This takes a very short amount of time, about 12-15 seconds depending on hesitation, then about eight seconds of walking off and the stuff being replaced before the next is called.

So, all in all, each person takes about a minute to choose their faction.

The only faction which its shown the number of initiates is Dauntless, which has 34 (33 plus the one who immediately becomes factionless because he doesn't jump). If we assume every faction has equal numbers (despite the fact that means you advertise either having fun and excitement or spending your life studying to teenagers and expect them to equally choose), that means you have 170 people to go through every year (which raises questions about how they survive with a population that has only enough people to fill one year of a small high school born each year). There's also basically a minute of pure talking by the leaders, which is oddly short considering they're meant to be leaders (seriously, look at any ceremony. They will have ages of speaking by random officials, or at least it'll feel like it).

So that's just 171 minutes, or nearly 3 hours. If anything, the amount of time it's taken is far overestimated. Huh, I thought it'd be the opposite way around.

That's still 3 hours of watching people drip their blood into bowls. I'd bring a book. It's about to get very boring after the 20th.

Sunday 6 March 2016

Why Are Mario and Luigi the Only Guys to Save Peach?

So, Mario games are slightly popular, aren't they? And they've all got a pretty similar plot. The plumbers (/tennis players/worst doctor ever/star football players/ party organizers/ morally questionable zoo owner/ Mario has far too much time on his hands, and is never actually doing what his actual job is) are hanging out with the princess, and then she gets kidnapped. Instead of the castle guard sorting it out (which... seemingly doesn't exist? Seriously, you'd think after getting kidnapped... ten times? Peach, it's like you want to get kidnapped.)

And you can hardly say you're defenseless. You
fight pretty well in Galaxy 2 and your own DS
games. Heck, you can fly! And you have superpowers!
Peach's security issues aside, why is it that when she inevitably gets kidnapped, it's the role of some plumbers to go save her?

Because they're the only ones who can. They're the heroes Mushroom Kingdom deserves, not the ones they need.

It'sa me! Batmario!
The main groups that live in the Mushroom Kingdom, and aren't on Bowser's side are Toads/Toadettes and Yoshis.

There is no way that the Toads could save Princess Peach (yes I know, they did in Galaxy 2, I still don't know why), because, simply put, they'd be instantly stopped. In the first game, Bowser has something that's not really explained that can turn any Toad into a square made of bricks (that's an... oddly specific power, I must admit). With those sorts of odds, they probably wouldn't have volunteers lining up to go save the princess. And if there are people who could do it without a near certain chance of doom, why not use them?

That leaves Yoshis (Yoshies? Yoshii?). But they only really started to exist in Super Mario Bros, by which time the brothers had gotten pretty settled in their part time job of princess saving. So it could be that they didn't actually live in the Mushroom Kingdom until after the events of that game, where they would realise that the mild protection that comes from being in a kingdom with Mario and Luigi is worth leaving their own society.

So, Mario and Luigi are basically the last bastion of defense for the Mushroom Kingdom and most of the (somewhat) good aligned world?

Oh gosh, imagine if Bowser attacked the Mushroom Kingdom whilst Mario was busy being wrongly accused in Isle Delfino. Good job guys, you threatened the safety of a kingdom and all of the Toads because you couldn't be bothered to notice that the guy that arrived literally that day probably didn't commit the crimes that had happened earlier. It's not like he could time travel or anything...

Okay, I guess he can.

Saturday 27 February 2016

Why are the Protagonists of Pokemon Let Loose on the Region?

Happy Pokemon Day! In celebration of 20 years of the glorious little critters, here's another Pokemon theory for you guys to read.

So, the protagonists in Pokemon are around 10-16 years old. AKA, the exact age that kids should be attending school. But everyone's just happy to let them go off gallivanting around the country, catching wild animals to play with.

Why do they not have school to go to? Why are they just letting the kids wander around?

Seriously, kid, where are your parents?


Well, firstly, its implied in Pokemon Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald that because of the long grass, people are completely cut off if they don't have Pokemon. This means that each town in Pokemon has to establish their own way of educating their kids. Whilst some places have schools, most don't bother, especially smaller places such as the starting areas, so it's more likely than not that kids in Pokemon are homeschooled, learning from their parents.

But why are the parents of Pokemon protagonists willing to just let their kid wander off with a random animal after being told some man said it was a good idea. Love letters and fun times with the professor aside, the world of Pokemon isn't exactly the safest place to let a kid loose onto, with the bad guys popping up all over the place to steal your Pokemon, try to kill everyone or expand or reduce the land mass (Archie and Maxie never get invited to the cool villain parties...).

Pokemon battling is institutionalised into society. The gym leaders practically lead any city they're in, and Pokemon have become inherent into the way of life for people of this world, whether it is battling them, using them for unpacking, or having them as fire fighters (Yes. Just look closely at the Sun and Moon trailer, and you'll see Fire fighter Blastoise. Yes, this is very awesome. As is the announcement of Sun and Moon.). Also, you practically need Pokemon to live in this world, otherwise you'd be banned from many of the routes for your own safety due to the wild grass where the Pokemon live.

So, wouldn't it make sense to have an environment where kids could make sure they'd have powerful enough Pokemon to help them with the rest of their life, and they'd be encouraged to do so? It's implied that most kids never get to the Elite 4, they just do a gym or two and decide they want to do something else with their life, and leave. And the fact is, the kids that you follow are the exceptions. For every Red, or Kris, or Serena and Calem, or May and Ethan, or any of the other kids you follow, there's probably hundreds more that did one gym and headed home, or even if they defeated the gym leaders, wouldn't have the nerve to go face the Elite 4.

The protagonists are the ones you follow because it's a rare occurrence, that happens at most, every few years. And even when it does happen, even if people aren't so used to the idea that kids battle, they'll just think, well, it sorted itself out. The protagonists are the exceptions when they have an interesting journey, and the others, well, they just become the next cashier at the Poke-Mart.

And if you wonder, why are they seeing the weird things, well, if it was another person seeing it, we'd be following them, wouldn't we?

So have a great Pokemon Day, maybe play a little of your favourite generation.

Now, who's looking forwards to Pokemon Sun and Moon?

Saturday 20 February 2016

Why Minecraft is a Post Apocalyptic Wasteland

So. Minecraft. The happy game where you build things and mine and craft. Lego without the pain (seriously, do not step on Lego). But could it really be something darker? Could it actually be a post apocalyptic wasteland, where your character is the only survivor that hasn't been mutated beyond all recognition?

Well, yeah, because otherwise I'd be talking about something else, like My Little Pony or something (probably not My Little Pony, but who knows?). But what proof do we have for this?

Lets look at Steve?

This Steve? That wasn't a question,
his name just makes it look that way.
Notice something that makes him different from all the other villagers in the world of Minecraft?

His nose. Namely he's like Voldemort and doesn't have one.

Do you know what shares this trait? Zombies.

They also wear the exact same clothes as him, have the same sized eyes and are practically just Steve? with a different paint job. Now, notice the shape he has instead of a nose. He has two points that are darker than the rest of his skin. Do you know who also have that?

Skeletons. That makes it so that both of the mobs with the same sort of face as Steve? are the undead ones, with only villagers being the living ones, with mutated huge noses. Steve?'s the only one like him in the game (unless you go on multiplayer mode but shh. Logic isn't cool here.)

Plus, there are signs that there was once civilisation. There's the dummied out humans, and the mineshafts, jungle temples and desert temples. This implied there used to be a civilisation,but somehow it got destroyed, except for the mutated villagers who hide in their wooden huts, waiting for their old friends, who have been turned into the undead, to destroy them and turn them into one of their own.

But where did this come from?

Well. when you defeat the Ender Dragon, the credits have two people talking about the meaning of life. Among other things, this implies that the End wasn't naturally part of the Minecraft world. The End being around is actively corrupting to the world, as more and more Endermen enter the main world and more and more Ender portals are being let off, ones built by the original civilisation that came before, but got destroyed... by the mysterious voices?

Maybe?

I might be wrong. Comment if you think something else caused it, and if so, what is it?

Saturday 13 February 2016

Where do Elsa's Powers Come From?

From the completely powerless King and Queen, a child is born with the power to control ice, create clothes and even turn snowmen to life. The question is... how?

And I know the answer.

If you listen to the songs taken out, in particular Spring Pageant, it's quite obvious that there's an ancient troll prophecy (and a director who's more than a little full of himself). The basics are that an ice queen will splinter the land, curse it with unending Winter and it'll only end with a sword sacrifice (sound familiar).

Now, you may just say that that doesn't really count, because they were taken out of the film, so we're going to go into the film now for more evidence.

When the trolls talk about Elsa's powers, it's asked how the heck she got them, and the rock trolls are vague as heck, saying that she could be born with them. Or cursed. The emphasis clearly shows that it is a curse, and the only hint of anything that could curse her is the prophecy.

Seriously guys, you just had to have a prophecy didn't you. You weren't
 happy enough being love experts, you now had to curse people.
But then, why did the prophecy occur then? It's never stated that it'd happen in a specific generation, just that it would happen. Sure it could just be chance.

Or it could be that dumb flower from Tangled.

Yes I'm talking to you. You're not getting out of this by glowing.
When the flower grew, the energy got transferred into the Earth by the witch singing the healing song. From there, it could have spread out, and, driven by the prophecy, been absorbed by the one person alive it could apply to.

Elsa.

With the energy absorbed through a different way, being attracted by the prophecy instead of the flower, it would have caused her to develop different gifts. However, the inherent healing would be there, but suppressed by the prophecy's power to make her into an ice queen, explaining how she could make Olaf and Marshmallow. And when the prophecy was weakened, the power of the sun could take more power, making it possible for her to warm Arendelle and bring all of the flowers back to life (because lets be honest here, those flowers were not surviving otherwise). But she still kept her ice powers, due to the chaotic nature of the prophecy attached to them.

I still don't know where the clothes design part came from though.